09-29-2018, 09:07 PM
I think Terry's points about style and cliche are valid ones, but I would say stick to utilitarian language if it's comfortable for you. Trying to force "style" will not work and I would rather read a good story told in simple language than something that reads like one of my poems from college.
I think it would help if Terry could point out some examples for you of where your awareness of the cliche shows. For my part, I would suggest being careful about using humor. Just based on my first read-through of each story, I think you have a decent grasp of how to get humor out of the interplay between the characters. While I don't have any examples at hand, I would just warn that you watch out for anything that doesn't make YOU laugh. If you find yourself chuckling, then it's probably going to work on other people, too.
So far you have strength in plotting and in characters who really feel like they have some depth. Nothing to sniff at, there!
For a good example of what not to do, check out Raymond E Feist's Krondor: the Betrayal. I have never read anything else by him, so I can't comment on the quality of his stuff overall, but I found this book at a used book store and bought it because I knew it was based on a classic CRPG he had a hand in and that he is a well known fantasy author. I couldn't finish it and sold it back. I'm pretty sure the book jacket was more engaging to read than the actual story. His plain and direct prose was not so much a problem as the fact that he takes you from place to place, person to person, event to event, and you never really feel like you're there. His pacing is very good, but there is no tactile or emotional information, no sense of immersion or atmosphere whatsoever. It's apparently the thirteenth book set in a universe he is well known for, so maybe I would have been more interested had I read the others before it. But really, the bookon its own can just be described as bland and I can't imagine the others being like it if they're so successful. Anyway, check it out--that is, if you want to purposely read a book that is bad...
I think it would help if Terry could point out some examples for you of where your awareness of the cliche shows. For my part, I would suggest being careful about using humor. Just based on my first read-through of each story, I think you have a decent grasp of how to get humor out of the interplay between the characters. While I don't have any examples at hand, I would just warn that you watch out for anything that doesn't make YOU laugh. If you find yourself chuckling, then it's probably going to work on other people, too.
So far you have strength in plotting and in characters who really feel like they have some depth. Nothing to sniff at, there!
For a good example of what not to do, check out Raymond E Feist's Krondor: the Betrayal. I have never read anything else by him, so I can't comment on the quality of his stuff overall, but I found this book at a used book store and bought it because I knew it was based on a classic CRPG he had a hand in and that he is a well known fantasy author. I couldn't finish it and sold it back. I'm pretty sure the book jacket was more engaging to read than the actual story. His plain and direct prose was not so much a problem as the fact that he takes you from place to place, person to person, event to event, and you never really feel like you're there. His pacing is very good, but there is no tactile or emotional information, no sense of immersion or atmosphere whatsoever. It's apparently the thirteenth book set in a universe he is well known for, so maybe I would have been more interested had I read the others before it. But really, the bookon its own can just be described as bland and I can't imagine the others being like it if they're so successful. Anyway, check it out--that is, if you want to purposely read a book that is bad...