Waters of Redemption

[Mattias Westlund]

A very early version of the final chapter is now up. I have also updated The Journey Home quite a bit.

[Mattias Westlund]

I have wrapped up the storyline, see the first post of this thread. I could use some help from native English speakers (and everyone else who feel they have a strong grasp of the language of course) for pinpointing problems with the narrative.

And yes, the chapter descriptions do get longer and longer. I need to go back and flesh out the early ones.

[peastman]

Your English is excellent.  I wouldn't have guessed it wasn't your native language.  I don't see anything to correct.

[Mattias Westlund]

(09-15-2016, 01:48 AM)peastman Wrote: Your English is excellent.  I wouldn't have guessed it wasn't your native language.  I don't see anything to correct.

Huh, thanks. Well I guess maybe I don't need to worry overly much about that bit then.

Anyway, I have made some major updates to Chapter XVI: Redemption, including a completely reworked second part and and a bit towards the end with a lot of sound FX meaning to illustrate how Tyrin discovers Elyn's lifeless body. Let me know what you guys think about that.

Big question is though: should I return to some sad musical theme after that, or just leave it more or less as is? After all there will be a brief piece of music for the Epilogue so the whole album won't end this way.

[Otto Halmén]

Please take this with a grain of salt.

At 2:58, you start spinning the otherwise minor leitmotif in a major variation, and carry it into a build up. This is a nice musical device, but then the tune just fakes out into the sfx. I was wondering if you might do more with this idea? Perhaps continue by re-harmonizing another leitmotif, e.g. the one that's introduced in Harren's Hope at 1:43?

I interpret the major variation as "nothing will be the same anymore", which is what slowly leads Elyn to her ultimate decision. Just thought you might take the idea even further, to really make the sense of change powerful and overwhelming.

[Nayrb]

The effects part is very effective (pun!), and I think saving the more emotional, sad, introspective resolution for an epilogue is a fine idea. It frees up "Redemption" to end in an unsettling manner without leaving the listener hanging. I do wonder, however, if that part where the gong crashes (the moment the tragedy is discovered) could be just a smidge MORE unsettling in some way. Some screechy strings, perhaps? Not sure I really have a good suggestion for what to add though... It does the trick, in any case.

[Mattias Westlund]

Otto, Nayrb: good points both of you, thanks. The part before the sfx bit could definitely stand being longer, and I'm working on it. The final moment also needs enhancements, I agree.

At long last, the missing Chapter XIII is now up, albeit a sloppy first version. 39 minutes of music so far, and there are still several tracks that aren't structurally finished yet...

[Mattias Westlund]

I wasn't planning on uploading any more WIP versions before the release, but I've had some problems putting together the second part of Betrayal and Sorcery and I just wanted to run this by you guys. I was aiming for something disturbing and threatening but right now it sounds more like a big musical mess to me.

Also, please disregard performances, sloppiness and little missing bits etc; I'm just trying to get this structurally finished right now, connecting the dots and massaging the midi comes later

[peastman]

It sounds to me like a lot of good pieces that don't quite fit together.  It keeps introducing interesting musical elements, and I'm waiting to see what it does with them, and expecting them to build up into a melody.  But they don't.  Instead it suddenly jumps to something different.  So then that starts to build, and again I wait to see what it grows into, and again it jumps to something else.

So I guess my suggestions would be, first, more melody, and second more continuity of melody across the breaks.  Some of the sudden changes in texture are really cool, but give the listener a payoff first before you pull them in a new direction.

[Mattias Westlund]

Thanks for your comments, peastman!

At the risk of sounding defensive though, I must point out that this tune is more or less a continuation of the previous chapter, and that some things in it are reprises of existing themes. It needs to be listened to in context. If not, I fully understand that it might sound like new things are just being stacked on top of each other without ever being fully developed.

Not saying that you don't have a point though; it might be a bit all over the place but I'm unsure how much time I have to rework it. The thing I was mostly worried about was the part beginning at ~2:06 with its heavy use of the symmetrical augmented scale. Not sure whether it paints the right picture of alarm and dread or if it's just a big musical jumble...