07-06-2017, 09:31 PM
I like your story so far, I got goosebumps reading it at some points. I think some of the characters have a lot of potential for inner conflict. Bern for example seems be very unconventional in using new military techniques, but is so convinced by traditions, that he goes to a meeting that everyone warns him of. I think telling that he dies must be pretty hard, since everyone knows it's gonna happen but it still has to be interresting. I think Berns intentions are really interresting here, because he just tries to be a fair and good ruler.
Ravnir could also have some inner conflicts. One the one hand she seems to have negative assicioations regarding Huldar considering she was always an outsider, but I could imagine she also feels massive guilt fleeing Huldar after her father gets killed. I could imagine seeing her mature trough this after the quick changes that turn her into an adult very quickly could be quite interresting.
I liked the Huldar theme, while I think you're right regarding the "size" of the sound, might be too small. If Hulda has a theme I could imagine it would be cool when it has two very distinctive versions from each other, one before and one after the military techniques introduced by Thunni. One more rural sounding like this with deep drums and pedal tons in fifhts and one more militaric sounding.
I like the idea of having a poppy outro tune and I liked the song, about how many songs do you want to do in the end of that? Ten chapters already seems like quit a bunch and the story seems to just have started at that point
Anyway, I like what you got so far and good luck.
Ravnir could also have some inner conflicts. One the one hand she seems to have negative assicioations regarding Huldar considering she was always an outsider, but I could imagine she also feels massive guilt fleeing Huldar after her father gets killed. I could imagine seeing her mature trough this after the quick changes that turn her into an adult very quickly could be quite interresting.
I liked the Huldar theme, while I think you're right regarding the "size" of the sound, might be too small. If Hulda has a theme I could imagine it would be cool when it has two very distinctive versions from each other, one before and one after the military techniques introduced by Thunni. One more rural sounding like this with deep drums and pedal tons in fifhts and one more militaric sounding.
I like the idea of having a poppy outro tune and I liked the song, about how many songs do you want to do in the end of that? Ten chapters already seems like quit a bunch and the story seems to just have started at that point
Anyway, I like what you got so far and good luck.
